Chastity and orgasm control have been a favourite of mine ever since I first discovered them. I like the appearance of most chastity belts / devices, and the symbolism of wearing one fits my style well. I especially like the way a sub develops a drive to serve when they can't get off. And because orgasm control can be practiced easily over distance, even without a chastity device, it's probably the kink with which I have the most experience.
I am often asked how long I like to keep subs between orgasms, but the answer depends on a few factors. It depends on how I want to train the sub, on their moods, and how sexually active they are. I also like to keep subs ignorant about when their next orgasm might come, but that's a story for another day.
As a sub is kept without orgasm, they seem to go through phases. Each has a unique experience, with it's own benefits and drawbacks. For me, finding the ideal duration for a sub means figuring out which of these phases is best for my training goals. For the remainder of this post, I will attempt to catalogue these phases, and how I use them in training.
The time it takes between each phase depends on the sub, so I'll give a min and max that I have witnessed. Subs who naturally orgasm more often (one or more times a day) will be on the faster end of the scale.
Cool toy phase
As far as I'm concerned, this isn't chastity. This is gear fetish. The good stuff follows.
Physical need phase
Starts: When the sub naturally desires an orgasm: during play - a couple days* Can be accelerated by edging or other kinky play
* Most subs return to this phase after a ruined orgasm
* Some subs can be kept in this phase indefinitely with regular stimulation / edging
Experience: A strong, almost constant physical craving for an orgasm
Training benefits:
* Constant hornyness reduces inhibitions
* The desire for an orgasm is the strongest in this phase, so an orgasm reward is most effective here
* Encourages more animalistic behaviour
Drawbacks:
* This is the most distracting phase. It has the most potential to impact daily life
* Overstimulated male subs can get blue balls
The feeling of need for an orgasm increases as this phase progresses. I think that keeping a sub in this phase is the cruelest form of orgasm control.
Imagination phase
Experience: Vivid, elaborate fantasies about having orgasms. Physical cravings reduce considerably.
Training benefits:
* Obedience increases
* Sub will crave more types of play
Drawbacks:
* The sub might be a little more emotionally needy / delicate here
* Some subs lose interest in playing when they're not horny
The denial changes from physical torture to mental torture, but it doesn't impact regular life quite as much. I wouldn't call it easy, but many find living here easier than in the first phase.
I think a lot of subs who experiment with chastity imagine that the physical need keeps increasing forever, giving up before getting here. Getting to this phase opens up a whole new experience which is fun to explore. If you want to try it, remember to avoid all sexual stimulation.
Substitution phase
Starts: 1 month - 2 monthsExperience: Craving new sexual outlets
Training benefits:
* Maximum potential for training new behaviors
This is the most mentally profound phase of orgasm denial. It seems like subs in this phase naturally try to find new sexual rituals to replace orgasms. Once they are established, they start to crave them just as they had craved orgasms before. I have heard of subs being trained to some incredible things in this phase.
I haven't identified any phases beyond here, but it's not an area I've explored. From my conversations, not many have.
Please add a comment below if your own experiences match or differ from what I've described.
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