Fiendish Confessions

Real Service Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny First published in 2011 As the name implies, this book is all about service. It's filled with useful information about styles of service, the power dynamics of service, and practical information about serving. It's also has helpful lists to help you figure out your own style. They keep the text grounded in real experiences and stories while also providing insightful abstractions to illustrate key concepts. This was a fantastic book, and I learned a lot from it. I quite liked Joshua's four rules of service. The first in particular deserves to be repeated widely: "If the master doesn’t want it, it isn’t service." Another part I found fascinating are the three motivations for submission: transactional (doing it for pleasure, payment, or other personal gains), devotional (doing it out of love for the master), and positional (doing it because you are meant to). They talk about the advantages and disadvantages of each, and ...

We were having a great night, celebrating our twelfth wedding anniversary. We pulled the car over on the way home from dinner so we could watch the sun set. A couple years before this would have been no big deal, but now, having even this tiny bit of quiet privacy was a special treat. My parents were babysitting our young son. It was the first date night we'd had in maybe half a year. Could it really be that long? How the time has flown by... I can still picture the puffy little clouds on the horizon, back lit by a tranquil pink sky. I was staring furiously at them because I was flooded with anxiety. We were talking about our sex life. This had been a source of much pain and frustration for most of our marriage, if I'm honest. Things had not magically improved since becoming parents. She was telling me how she wished I would play with her more. I preferred to think of us as a dominant couple; whenever I thought about playing with her, I would be overcome with guilt and fe...

If someone offered you a pill that would make you happy with a vanilla sex life, would you take it? This is a question I like to ask myself sometimes, but the answer I give myself is always the same: no. I must admit, sometimes it's tempting. The temptation now is maybe the highest it's even been... I've been experiencing something of a long winter. The last time I played with a sub in person was just over 2 years ago. The last time before that was in 2013. Kink is a powerful mechanism for me to purge the crap I accumulate in life, and being unable to use it is hard. This lifestyle has been hard on me generally. I have spent far more time frustrated than happy. I've had my heart broken again and again, searching for something that I can never seem to find. As the time stretches on, I start to wonder if I ever will find it. And then I start to wonder if I would even be happy if I did. It's been so long now, I worry about meeting someone and freezing up. What ...

There are two rules that I require for everyone I play with. I apply them online, and and real life, making sure to discuss them seriously before getting into anything beyond flirting. They are not always easy, but they are important to me, so I will not play with anyone who will not follow them. Rule #1 : You must always be honest with me. As a dominant, it's my responsibility to protect those that I play with. When I push someone physically and emotionally, I need to make sure that they are within their limits. It's is essential that I be able to ask questions like, "does your jaw hurt?" or "how are you feeling?" and get an honest answer. One subtlety here is that I'm not promising to be honest in return. It's not my intention to be deceitful, but sometimes it's fun to play with a subs brain as well. For example, I might adjust the clocks before letting a sub out of sensory deprivation, or set out a scary toy that I don't plan to use ...

Social anxiety is something I have struggled with for my entire adult life. It doesn't prevent me from living a life that is mostly normal, but it can be a nuisance. Every now and then I'll have a reaction that's more unpleasant. For whatever reason, kinky gatherings cause an extremely strong reaction for me. In spite of that, my wife and I recently attended our first kinky meeting. It was a small gathering I found on fetlife for kinksters attending a convention. We were dressed as characters from an anime, but that was encouraged in the invitation. It was really great. Everyone made an effort to talk to us and make us feel welcome. Starting out with a group that was nerdy like us also helped. I felt safe, and comfortable. It was exactly the kind thing I want to do regularly, except that getting there was the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm not talking about the standard shyness that anyone might feel. The wiring in my brain started malfunctioning almost con...

Eight years ago, my wife and I were shopping in a bulk discount grocery store. I noticed a giant roll of plastic wrap for a few dollars, and immediately thought about how I might use it for kink. My wife knew what I was thinking before I said anything, so I put it in the cart and we carried on. A few days later, my wife wrapped me in plastic from my chest to my toes and laid me down in bed. I wasn't mummified for long, but there was a little teasing before she cut me free. The box of wrap went into the pantry soon after. We never used it for kink again. A few months later, we started using it to wrap food. It seemed a little strange at first, but it quickly became normal. A few years later, we had barely put a dent in our supply. We had a bunch of things to put into storage at the time, so we starting using it to wrap anything that was sensitive to moisture. This used a lot, but the box remained inexhausted. Recently I was asked by a friend what I could do to him with a box...

One question that I am commonly asked when I meet someone new is "how would you train me," or "what would an average day be like as your slave?" Every sub is different, and so the way I want to push each one will also be different. I am often asked this question soon after meeting someone, which makes it especially difficult to answer. Of course, there are some things that remain constant: I want any slave to be kept naked in our home, locked in chastity, and off the furniture. Anyone that lives with us would need to be happy being treated like a pet rather than a part of the relationship. An interest in domestic service would be nice too. Though there is a lot that could be added, and some that could be taken away, when we do find a slave, an average day could be very much like this: An electric lock releases the cage door early in the morning. He crawls carefully out of the cage beneath our bed and makes his way quietly toward the kitchen. He puts away th...

The various scenes I've done over the years have been a lot of fun, but it was always just that, fun. I have long felt the need to try something deeper, something more serious. I keep thinking about finding someone to join our household, some mix between a friend, a servant, and a pet. K can't become that for us for various reasons, but when he came to visit, it created a perfect opportunity to see what it would be like. We did a lot of things while he was here, but we spent the most time just socializing while keeping him in a submissive role. We took away his clothing and belongings, kept him off the furniture, and treated him generally like a pet. We touched him and played with him whenever we wanted. If he resisted, we swiftly reminded him of his position, then resumed doing whatever we wanted. We stayed around him whenever we were awake, and locked him to his bed with a short chain around his neck when we weren't. This was exactly how I always imagined it would g...

I first met K more than 3 years ago in a chat room. We became friends quickly, and it only grew from there. I often wanted to experience his uniquely delicate style of submission, but because of the distance between us, it always seemed like an impossible fantasy. When my wife suggested we invite him to visit us earlier this year, I was obviously excited. It wasn't until we started talking about it seriously that I realized how risky it would be. If I meet someone local in a public restaurant, it's easy to walk away if I get a bad feeling; when someone shows up at the door with a suitcase, it's harder to back out. It was worse for K. Not only would he be totally dependent on us as our guest, but it would also be his first trip to Canada. A video chat between the three of us helped considerably. I've met people who have turned out to be very different in person than they were in a chat window. Adding video and sound allowed me to see his personality, and judge his em...

It's been exactly one year today since I started this blog, and so far I am thrilled with the results. A lot has happened in the last year. We had a great run with C, got to try lots of new things and made a really good first effort at training a houseboy. I made some new friends, though I also lost some. On the whole, in both kink and my personal life, things have improved. Speaking purely in terms of statistics, this blog has been successful. I'm currently getting around 300 page views a month, which is way better than my professional blog. Over 80% of the visitors to this site come from links in my profiles and posts on various forums, 8% come from searches, and about 5% comes from users subscribed to the rss feed. Of my 15 posts, the one with the most clicks was Guilt . I've got a long way to go before I'll be the biggest site on the Internet, but it's not bad for my first year. The most rewarding aspect of blogging has been the comments I've received...

After several months without having anyone over, C recently paid us a visit. We skipped the normal chores, and spent the better part of a day playing. He was kept naked, was usually bound, and was occasionally gagged, blindfolded, or plugged. I tormented his nipples, and rubbed his penis alternating between the nice way, and the not so nice way. I even used the ball vice and the cane at the same time. Though all of that was fun, the real highlight of the visit was a first for me. I have always kept submissives at arms length sexually. I play with them, but never allow them to do anything for me. A sub would always be naked, and I would always be clothed. I would touch, rub, squeeze, or pinch anywhere I want to, but never allow a sub more than kissing my hands or feet. Though I get extremely aroused while playing with a sub, I never wanted more. During his last couple visits, before the hiatus, I started thinking about crossing that barrier. It's not that I had never been w...

When spending time online in chat rooms and forums you get to meet people with varying attitudes and opinions. I get along with most, and am usually not bothered by beliefs even radically different to my own, but there are some exceptions. For example: this notion that submissives are somehow inferior or unworthy of basic rights, and dominants are magically smarter, wiser, better, and entitled to anything we want. First of all, it's not sincere. I like humility in a submissive, but if they honestly believe they are worthless then they should be getting professional help. As I've mentioned before , I prefer submissives that are confident and strong. Constant self-deprecation becomes tiresome quickly. Being told that I am superior is also a nuisance. I work hard to be a good Dom. I work hard to be good in my career, to be good to my wife, and to be a better person generally. I'm proud of who I am, but I'm a long way from being a superior being. I like to be appreciat...

CatInACage posted this question  on a forum I sometimes visit: I've been in a relationship with my partner for just over 2 and a half years now. I've been pretty well into the kink of life, but he's rather vanilla about sex. Unfortunately, we don't actually have it very often. In fact, out of the 2 and a half years we've been together, we once went a whole year plus without sex; the rest of the time, it's been an average of bi-monthly to quarterly. He's just not a very sexually-oriented individual, and that's fine. But the problem is that I'm 10 years his junior and CONSTANTLY horny. I joke about sex frequently with him. I try not to make a big deal of it. But the reality is, I miss that intimacy. The funny thing is, I also miss chastity as well. I had a CB3000 that my then-Master bought me for my birthday about 3 years ago (before I met my partner), and I absolutely adored it. But then the stabiliser pins broke and I had to discard it, which reall...

I spend a fair bit of time chatting online in kinky forums. It's a good way to meet people and learn about the lifestyle. It's not so good for finding people to play with, but that's another post. Most kinky forums share a common etiquette for naming: Dominants use upper case letters (ex: TheDom) submissives use lower case letters (ex: thesub) square brackets and curly braces indicate collaring (ex: thesub{TD}) I see this used pretty much everywhere: chat rooms, dating sites, news groups. It's logical and easy to understand, so it works great. Switches can have trouble, but they find a way to deal with it. Submissives will talk in a number of ways depending on their personality and training. One common habit is to use the rules above for any word referring to a person. I am commonly asked, "How are You doing today Sir?" or "May i be of service to You Sir?" In a room full of people you will see sentences like: "How is E/everyone doing ...

Being a Dom comes naturally to me; I have a constant urge to push people, seem to have some skill at it, and enjoy doing it. That said, some parts of the job are harder than others. One of the hardest, and most important to do correctly, is reading and understanding a sub. The kind of play that I enjoy involves creating a sense of powerlessness. That means making a sub do things they don't want to do. I will apply all sorts of pressure such as charm, pain, guilt, fear, frustration. Sometimes I even use force. This is fun for me, and if I do it right, it'll scratch that deep down submissive itch inside of them. If you push a sub too far however, or push them the wrong way, things can get ugly fast. You have to be constantly reading your sub when you are playing, looking for those subtle (or not so subtle) clues about their mood. The signs that people show vary widely, and mean different things. Some people beg, some people cry, some people talk, some people even laugh, and...

Starting out as a Dominant isn't easy for a lot of reasons, but the hardest thing for me was learning to deal with the guilt. I have always had a strong moral code, and like to believe that I'm a decent person. Accepting that I not only enjoy, but actually need to make others suffer to be happy in life was really tough for me. From talking to other Dom/mes, I know that I'm not alone. A submissive has to admit that they enjoy being tormented for the pleasure of another. This is not easy either, but it's not a selfish pleasure. A sub is doing it for someone they care about. It is a noble gift, strange to an outsider perhaps, but it's not like they're hurting anyone. I hurt people. I enjoy pushing someone to do the uncomfortable, to sacrifice their own pleasure for the sake of my own. What I do is clearly unreasonable in a free society that values equality. This was difficult for me to deal with many years ago, but I got over it. I forced myself past it. A tr...