I spend a fair bit of time chatting online in kinky forums. It's a good way to meet people and learn about the lifestyle. It's not so good for finding people to play with, but that's another post.
Most kinky forums share a common etiquette for naming:
I see this used pretty much everywhere: chat rooms, dating sites, news groups. It's logical and easy to understand, so it works great. Switches can have trouble, but they find a way to deal with it.
Submissives will talk in a number of ways depending on their personality and training. One common habit is to use the rules above for any word referring to a person. I am commonly asked, "How are You doing today Sir?" or "May i be of service to You Sir?" In a room full of people you will see sentences like: "How is E/everyone doing today?" I personally dislike this style; I'd rather see ones respectful nature reflected in thoughts and actions than an occasional click of the shift key.
Some submissives will also avoid referring to themselves directly. It tends to go with the more extreme forms of degradation play. "May this one be of service to You Sir?" or sometimes "this slave" or even "this worthless slut." I am not a fan.
Dominants have their own way they like to be addressed by a sub. Male Doms tend to use Sir, or SIR. Female Dommes have many choices: Mistress, Ma'am, Miss, Goddess, or even My Lady are seen. Considering the connotations and traditional meanings, I would be hard pressed to pick one. To make it more complicated, some dominants reserve certain titles for those they have relationships with.
If anything, too much respect is more annoying than not enough. If someone calls me Master, especially if it's the first time they talk to me, it comes across as insincere, almost as though they are mocking me. Usually it means they are horny and inexperienced, but it's still unpleasant. Excessive use of Sir or any use of SIR is similar but less pronounced.
The only thing that seems to work for all Dom/mes is to ask. "How would you like to be addressed?"
If you were to ask me, I would answer: "Talk to me like we're friends. I see Sir (big S, little ir) as a sign of respect, but I don't demand it. Throw it in when you feel it's deserved."
Most kinky forums share a common etiquette for naming:
- Dominants use upper case letters (ex: TheDom)
- submissives use lower case letters (ex: thesub)
- square brackets and curly braces indicate collaring (ex: thesub{TD})
I see this used pretty much everywhere: chat rooms, dating sites, news groups. It's logical and easy to understand, so it works great. Switches can have trouble, but they find a way to deal with it.
Submissives will talk in a number of ways depending on their personality and training. One common habit is to use the rules above for any word referring to a person. I am commonly asked, "How are You doing today Sir?" or "May i be of service to You Sir?" In a room full of people you will see sentences like: "How is E/everyone doing today?" I personally dislike this style; I'd rather see ones respectful nature reflected in thoughts and actions than an occasional click of the shift key.
Some submissives will also avoid referring to themselves directly. It tends to go with the more extreme forms of degradation play. "May this one be of service to You Sir?" or sometimes "this slave" or even "this worthless slut." I am not a fan.
Dominants have their own way they like to be addressed by a sub. Male Doms tend to use Sir, or SIR. Female Dommes have many choices: Mistress, Ma'am, Miss, Goddess, or even My Lady are seen. Considering the connotations and traditional meanings, I would be hard pressed to pick one. To make it more complicated, some dominants reserve certain titles for those they have relationships with.
If anything, too much respect is more annoying than not enough. If someone calls me Master, especially if it's the first time they talk to me, it comes across as insincere, almost as though they are mocking me. Usually it means they are horny and inexperienced, but it's still unpleasant. Excessive use of Sir or any use of SIR is similar but less pronounced.
The only thing that seems to work for all Dom/mes is to ask. "How would you like to be addressed?"
If you were to ask me, I would answer: "Talk to me like we're friends. I see Sir (big S, little ir) as a sign of respect, but I don't demand it. Throw it in when you feel it's deserved."
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