I lost a dear friend last night over what was ultimately a stupid argument. We both said things that I wish we hadn't, but it's done now, and there isn't much chance of things going back to the way they were.
Though I'm upset about it, the experience has made me realize the value of friendships in this lifestyle. It is important to have close friends like him, as well as a feeling of belonging with a broader community.
It would be easy to think ourselves crazy for the desires we have. In fact, I did when I was young. Finding others who shared my desires was a big part of accepting who I am. I'm lucky to belong to a couple of online groups full of friendly people to socialize with.
We also need something more intimate; close friends we can open up to. Sometimes you need a second opinion about some crazy idea, or a strange desire. Even just talking about what you're doing can be extremely valuable. I didn't realize how important this was to me before I met my friend, and now that we won't be speaking again I'm not sure how I'll replace him.
It's amazing to think how much I learned with him, of all the things he helped me to figure out. More than once he pushed me to do something I was avoiding. I wouldn't have started this blog if it weren't for his encouragement. He even helped me to pick the name.
In spite of all the things that have driven us apart, I will always be thankful to have known him for as long as I did.
Goodbye, my friend. Thank you for everything.
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