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Building Trust For Both of Us

I am extremely flattered by the trust that K showed me. Not only did he travel to a new country to meet me, and allow me to bind and play with him, but he also trusted me to be the first male Dom he's played with sexually. Sexual play has never been a main attraction for me, but breaking in a new guy is a treat that's hard to turn down.

The more time he spent with us, the more comfortable we all became with him in a submissive role. At first he was constantly covering himself, shying away when we looked, but over time he became more confident, more relaxed, and more available to be played with. After a day of gentle play, he started showing hints that he was willing to go further. When I half-seriously suggested oral, I was surprised by his willingness.

I shouldn’t have been surprised though; it's normal for a sub to build trust at an accelerated rate during play. It could have been hormones as well, but as best as I could tell, the offer was sincere. We talked about it briefly, and soon after I unzipped my pants and grabbed him by his hair.

He didn't struggle at first, so I was able to guide him in and hold him there. While he got used to my scent, my wife moved so she could see better. Before long, I had to move as well because it was becoming uncomfortable to hold him. After moving, I grabbed his hair to start again, but this time he pulled back and made a sour face.

I backed off, unsure about his reaction. As soon as I did, he started leaning forward and trying to encourage me again. When I started pushing, he again put up a fight. After a couple attempts, I stopped everything. Looking back it seems obvious that he was play-fighting, but it was hard to tell in the moment. I didn't feel like I was in control of the situation, and that's not a good position for a Dom to be in.

It's important to understand that trust is the foundation of sane play. It's obvious that a sub needs to trust a Dom before being pushed, but it's just as important for a Dom to trust that the sub can handle being pushed. K was building trust for me more quickly because we'd been playing, but because I had barely pushed him, I wasn't sure where his boundaries were. This was new territory for him, so when he started to struggle, it was a very real possibility that I had hit a limit.

We took the time to cool down and dissect the failed attempt. I learnt that he could take a lot more than I'd given, and he learnt that he still had to be gentle when fighting back. We celebrated our newfound understanding with a posture collar, elbow cuffs, and a long edging session.

Our next attempt at oral had a much better ending, but it was a lot harder for K.

To be continued. . .
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