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A Dom For Every Sub

A few years back I noticed that my dominant impulses become different depending who I'm talking to. My desires, tone and personality can all change a fair bit. Even the kinks that interest me can vary. It's as if I become a different dominant with every new sub that I meet.

These changes only appear when I get to know someone. The more compatible they are, the more attached I become, the stronger the impulses become. When I meet someone I really click with, I can't help myself; I itch to torment them. If we haven't agreed to play, it can be difficult for me to wait.

It seems supernatural. As I get closer to someone, the right buttons seem to stand out on their own. I've always believed that intuition is a big part of attraction, so it's not unimaginable to me, but it might be hard to believe if you've never experienced it yourself. Some of the best Dom/mes I know experience the same, so I know I'm not imagining it.

These impulses often line up with the interests of the sub. I loved giving  painful tasks to one fellow who enjoyed it, and I pushed him well beyond what had ever interested me before. With another hypnosis and mind control became exciting when we discussed it, and felt really natural as we explored it. I have yet to desire either with anyone else.

I suspect some will think this is backward, that the sub is leading the Dom. That is a simplistic view of power exchange. Dominating a person without understanding their thoughts and responding to their emotions would be like driving a car with your eyes closed.

Even if I could force each new sub into a standard mould, I wouldn't want to. Each and every person I play with is unique and interesting in their own way. Each has their own strengths. Finding and encouraging those strengths is very satisfying for me, and exploring things differently each time helps me to learn and improve as a Dominant.

Some of my interests are constant though; I love orgasm control and chastity, clothing restrictions, and obedience-focused play. There are lots of lovely subs who wouldn't enjoy these things, but they probably aren't right for me.

Whenever someone asks me what I would do to them, it can be difficult to answer, especially if we've only just met. There are things that I usually like, but who knows how I will be inspired once I get to know them.
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