Fiendish Confessions

I lost a dear friend last night over what was ultimately a stupid argument. We both said things that I wish we hadn't, but it's done now, and there isn't much chance of things going back to the way they were. Though I'm upset about it, the experience has made me realize the value of friendships in this lifestyle. It is important to have close friends like him, as well as a feeling of belonging with a broader community. It would be easy to think ourselves crazy for the desires we have. In fact, I did when I was young. Finding others who shared my desires was a big part of accepting who I am. I'm lucky to belong to a couple of online groups full of friendly people to socialize with. We also need something more intimate; close friends we can open up to. Sometimes you need a second opinion about some crazy idea, or a strange desire. Even just talking about what you're doing can be extremely valuable. I didn't realize how important this was to me before I ...

When spending time online in chat rooms and forums you get to meet people with varying attitudes and opinions. I get along with most, and am usually not bothered by beliefs even radically different to my own, but there are some exceptions. For example: this notion that submissives are somehow inferior or unworthy of basic rights, and dominants are magically smarter, wiser, better, and entitled to anything we want. First of all, it's not sincere. I like humility in a submissive, but if they honestly believe they are worthless then they should be getting professional help. As I've mentioned before , I prefer submissives that are confident and strong. Constant self-deprecation becomes tiresome quickly. Being told that I am superior is also a nuisance. I work hard to be a good Dom. I work hard to be good in my career, to be good to my wife, and to be a better person generally. I'm proud of who I am, but I'm a long way from being a superior being. I like to be appreciat...

CatInACage posted this question  on a forum I sometimes visit: I've been in a relationship with my partner for just over 2 and a half years now. I've been pretty well into the kink of life, but he's rather vanilla about sex. Unfortunately, we don't actually have it very often. In fact, out of the 2 and a half years we've been together, we once went a whole year plus without sex; the rest of the time, it's been an average of bi-monthly to quarterly. He's just not a very sexually-oriented individual, and that's fine. But the problem is that I'm 10 years his junior and CONSTANTLY horny. I joke about sex frequently with him. I try not to make a big deal of it. But the reality is, I miss that intimacy. The funny thing is, I also miss chastity as well. I had a CB3000 that my then-Master bought me for my birthday about 3 years ago (before I met my partner), and I absolutely adored it. But then the stabiliser pins broke and I had to discard it, which reall...

I have always been fascinated by the mental effects of kinky play. It seems paradoxical that after a scene involving inescapable physical and mental discomfort, and even when not ending in an orgasm, a sub can feel a tremendous sense of relief. How can tying a guy down and squeezing his balls while he begs you to stop help him unwind from a stressful week? I have a theory. Meditation is often perceived as sitting cross-legged, burning incense, and drinking tea, but that is just one of many techniques. Some people repeat words over and over, some repeat actions, others concentrate completely on their breathing. Sufi Dervishes spin in circles. Native Americans go on long walks until physically and mentally exhausted. Ancient Celts would balance large rocks on their chests, forced to keep their stomachs tight to prevent being crushed. Each technique has it's own quirks and explanations, but the part that makes it meditation is that it does one simple (but not easy) thing: temporar...

I spend a fair bit of time chatting online in kinky forums. It's a good way to meet people and learn about the lifestyle. It's not so good for finding people to play with, but that's another post. Most kinky forums share a common etiquette for naming: Dominants use upper case letters (ex: TheDom) submissives use lower case letters (ex: thesub) square brackets and curly braces indicate collaring (ex: thesub{TD}) I see this used pretty much everywhere: chat rooms, dating sites, news groups. It's logical and easy to understand, so it works great. Switches can have trouble, but they find a way to deal with it. Submissives will talk in a number of ways depending on their personality and training. One common habit is to use the rules above for any word referring to a person. I am commonly asked, "How are You doing today Sir?" or "May i be of service to You Sir?" In a room full of people you will see sentences like: "How is E/everyone doing ...

I define obedience training as convincing someone to do things, or accept things being done to them. The things that are done, and the way the person is convinced can vary widely. It doesn't have to be sexual, difficult, or even noticeable to other people, but the more difficult it is to obey the more enjoyable it is for the dominant. Obedience training is an umbrella than spans many specific types of play like orgasm control and pet play, and it mixes with other kinks to give us several more. Despite the popularity of it's sub-types, obedience training gets little attention of it's own. There isn't even a commonly accepted term for it. A close relative that does get attention is humiliation and degradation. I use them together because they are almost the same thing, but I suppose they are technically different. Humiliation is getting someone to do something embarrassing, like wearing slutty clothes in public. Degradation is making someone feel worthless, like calli...

I met Tim in a chastity chat room about a year ago. He's a bit younger than me, and goes to school in California. He had little exposure to chastity beyond some cuckold* fantasies, and basically no exposure to BDSM. Even though he's straight, he took an immediate interest in me. I told him early on that we weren't a good fit for each other, but he never stopped flirting with me, and to be honest, I enjoyed shooting him down time and time again. In spite of this, we talked frequently over the following months while he struggled to understand the urges he was feeling. A few months later he came to me extremely worked up. He had denied himself for four days as an experiment. I wasn't intending to play with him, but there was just something about his mood, and the way he started talking. . . I started by having him bring himself to the edge of orgasm and stop. Even though we were using a primitive text-based chat system, I could sense his desperation, and it drove me to p...