Fiendish Confessions

It's been exactly one year today since I started this blog, and so far I am thrilled with the results. A lot has happened in the last year. We had a great run with C, got to try lots of new things and made a really good first effort at training a houseboy. I made some new friends, though I also lost some. On the whole, in both kink and my personal life, things have improved. Speaking purely in terms of statistics, this blog has been successful. I'm currently getting around 300 page views a month, which is way better than my professional blog. Over 80% of the visitors to this site come from links in my profiles and posts on various forums, 8% come from searches, and about 5% comes from users subscribed to the rss feed. Of my 15 posts, the one with the most clicks was Guilt . I've got a long way to go before I'll be the biggest site on the Internet, but it's not bad for my first year. The most rewarding aspect of blogging has been the comments I've received...

After several months without having anyone over, C recently paid us a visit. We skipped the normal chores, and spent the better part of a day playing. He was kept naked, was usually bound, and was occasionally gagged, blindfolded, or plugged. I tormented his nipples, and rubbed his penis alternating between the nice way, and the not so nice way. I even used the ball vice and the cane at the same time. Though all of that was fun, the real highlight of the visit was a first for me. I have always kept submissives at arms length sexually. I play with them, but never allow them to do anything for me. A sub would always be naked, and I would always be clothed. I would touch, rub, squeeze, or pinch anywhere I want to, but never allow a sub more than kissing my hands or feet. Though I get extremely aroused while playing with a sub, I never wanted more. During his last couple visits, before the hiatus, I started thinking about crossing that barrier. It's not that I had never been w...

I lost a dear friend last night over what was ultimately a stupid argument. We both said things that I wish we hadn't, but it's done now, and there isn't much chance of things going back to the way they were. Though I'm upset about it, the experience has made me realize the value of friendships in this lifestyle. It is important to have close friends like him, as well as a feeling of belonging with a broader community. It would be easy to think ourselves crazy for the desires we have. In fact, I did when I was young. Finding others who shared my desires was a big part of accepting who I am. I'm lucky to belong to a couple of online groups full of friendly people to socialize with. We also need something more intimate; close friends we can open up to. Sometimes you need a second opinion about some crazy idea, or a strange desire. Even just talking about what you're doing can be extremely valuable. I didn't realize how important this was to me before I ...

When spending time online in chat rooms and forums you get to meet people with varying attitudes and opinions. I get along with most, and am usually not bothered by beliefs even radically different to my own, but there are some exceptions. For example: this notion that submissives are somehow inferior or unworthy of basic rights, and dominants are magically smarter, wiser, better, and entitled to anything we want. First of all, it's not sincere. I like humility in a submissive, but if they honestly believe they are worthless then they should be getting professional help. As I've mentioned before , I prefer submissives that are confident and strong. Constant self-deprecation becomes tiresome quickly. Being told that I am superior is also a nuisance. I work hard to be a good Dom. I work hard to be good in my career, to be good to my wife, and to be a better person generally. I'm proud of who I am, but I'm a long way from being a superior being. I like to be appreciat...

CatInACage posted this question  on a forum I sometimes visit: I've been in a relationship with my partner for just over 2 and a half years now. I've been pretty well into the kink of life, but he's rather vanilla about sex. Unfortunately, we don't actually have it very often. In fact, out of the 2 and a half years we've been together, we once went a whole year plus without sex; the rest of the time, it's been an average of bi-monthly to quarterly. He's just not a very sexually-oriented individual, and that's fine. But the problem is that I'm 10 years his junior and CONSTANTLY horny. I joke about sex frequently with him. I try not to make a big deal of it. But the reality is, I miss that intimacy. The funny thing is, I also miss chastity as well. I had a CB3000 that my then-Master bought me for my birthday about 3 years ago (before I met my partner), and I absolutely adored it. But then the stabiliser pins broke and I had to discard it, which reall...

I have always been fascinated by the mental effects of kinky play. It seems paradoxical that after a scene involving inescapable physical and mental discomfort, and even when not ending in an orgasm, a sub can feel a tremendous sense of relief. How can tying a guy down and squeezing his balls while he begs you to stop help him unwind from a stressful week? I have a theory. Meditation is often perceived as sitting cross-legged, burning incense, and drinking tea, but that is just one of many techniques. Some people repeat words over and over, some repeat actions, others concentrate completely on their breathing. Sufi Dervishes spin in circles. Native Americans go on long walks until physically and mentally exhausted. Ancient Celts would balance large rocks on their chests, forced to keep their stomachs tight to prevent being crushed. Each technique has it's own quirks and explanations, but the part that makes it meditation is that it does one simple (but not easy) thing: temporar...

I spend a fair bit of time chatting online in kinky forums. It's a good way to meet people and learn about the lifestyle. It's not so good for finding people to play with, but that's another post. Most kinky forums share a common etiquette for naming: Dominants use upper case letters (ex: TheDom) submissives use lower case letters (ex: thesub) square brackets and curly braces indicate collaring (ex: thesub{TD}) I see this used pretty much everywhere: chat rooms, dating sites, news groups. It's logical and easy to understand, so it works great. Switches can have trouble, but they find a way to deal with it. Submissives will talk in a number of ways depending on their personality and training. One common habit is to use the rules above for any word referring to a person. I am commonly asked, "How are You doing today Sir?" or "May i be of service to You Sir?" In a room full of people you will see sentences like: "How is E/everyone doing ...